Archive by Author

ComingOutDennis

31 May

It wasnt very difficult for me to say it… yes it the phrase synonymous with the queer community… Feared by many saying it bust down the closet door yes… that phrase that is so big… I AM GAY! *Gasp*… What makes my experience crazy is that it took about a year for me to fully come out. To put the cherry on top it was on Christmas. heh heh Merry Christmas.”Let me give you some of the comments a dialogue of that fantastically gay experience.

Me:Uhm mom…… Gay?

*She looks away then looks back*

Mom: Wait so your saying you like DUDES?

*She calls my dad in the room*

Mom: Tell your Father!

Me: I am gay.

Mom: You heard that your son wants a “vagina”! He has a vagina between his legs!

Me: No… its not like that i just like guys.

*Dad looks un-interested*

*I leave the room. Because i was over this conversation.”

Coming out is a process and you are forever telling people. This it never ends and many reactions not always positive. the worst reaction came from a queer guy who was straight up like ” your gay? ewww?” The irony of this is that everyone in the school thought he was gay, Some of the worst reactions can come from places where you don’t expect. Coming out is an experience. That should be done, It allows you to grow in many ways and meet more people. for me it gave me the opportunity to learn about other and myself simultaneously.

As a black person. You can end up not being considered masculine anymore as if you were castrated when you came out. You are treated differently by some and not all. Never forget that coming out as gay is only something your revealing to others and is a small piece of you. Keep in mind that. We are all growing individuals changing for whatever better is in our lives there is never a worst because we all have experiences to make us stronger. Plus take the time to do what makes you happy that makes things better. I had music so i focused on that than i did alot of work in the queer community which lyric provided. Finding community by itself is a powerful experience by itself. Thank you for reading!

A day in the Life of Dennis Jones

17 May

7am : I wake up in the morning pondering issues that society struggles with, the lines that devide us, and what makes me whole as an individual. I reflect on this for an hour at this time i eat or prepare a meal to eat or do chores.

8am : I sit in lotus position to further acknowledge the things i can’t change about the world and to change those things i must model them to inspire others to be the best them.

9am  : I shower and groom when needed while listening to jazz or classical in the morning. This hour I get ready for work…

10am : If i have time from the inspiring and relaxing meditative experience of showering to jazz music. I will play classical and jazz piano before work to let out some of my creative energy.

11am : I head to work. On the way to work I look out for the beauties in nature which is everything. I get an overall feeling of awe at this moment of my day

12pm : I get to work I say hello to all of my co workers and ki-ki with them about issues relevant to our lives and get lunch.

1pm : I have a Meeting

2pm : I go into drop in at lyric to socialize with my peers in the community to see there needs from groups and to talk about issues relevant to them.

3pm : The same as 2pm

4pm-7pm: This is training where all the queer educators get together and learn and discuss issues in the community and world. We also get trained on relevant skills that can transcend and be used in everyday life.

7pm : I take a deep breath and start reflecting on the day. Maybe get something to eat.

8pm : Arrive at home the first thing that I do is wash my hands. Than I shower and change into my pajamas at this time

9pm :I watch youtube videos and look at social media till i get tired and go to bed

Thats a day in my life…

How to Eat Out with A guest for CHEAP!

9 May

In san francisco there are multiple places that serve large portions for under $20 Here are some of the places and my review of them.

Naann n’ Curry– Naan n’ curry have a great all you can eat Buffet for $10 per person plus everything is fresh and accessible they also have a salad bar with fruit which is easily one of my favorite spots for guest and dates because. I cann get a lot for $20 and you stay full for most of the day GREAT for dinner. Plus the ambient Indian music is amazing and really add to the affordable Cultural experience.

336 O’Farrell
(at Mason)
San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 346-1443

Froyo & Crepe Cafe – This is a cool place but WATCH YOUR POCKET! There  Get the regular chicken katsu or Korean BBQ plate This is a large portion which can easily be shared both of these plates are under $10 order water and Share. This is also a quicklys so some of your favorites may

2943 Mission St
(between 25th St & 26th St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
Neighborhood: Mission
(415) 970-0985
 
The Cheesecake Factory – There are many dishes served here, The last time I went I got fish and chips and it’s a romantic spot the whole date was about $20 and the fish and chips were great!
Macy’s, 8th Floor
251 Geary St
San Francisco, CA 94102
Neighborhood: Union Square

(415) 391-4444

 

Taqueria’s in the mission – Burrito’s are under $10 SPLIT IT! and Get water. Water is waaay better for you Plus burritos are fairly large and cheap

That concludes my Cheap picks For good places to eat!

The Myth of ‘Misstrust’

11 Apr

We all have our insecurities especially in the queer boy community. Particularly when it comes to relationships. Some of us don’t trust our friends around are men. Who knows they could go behind your back and try to take your man. “Try them out.” is one of the terms used in this which happens in all kinds of communities. How does this apply to the queer boy community? Its often that guys in out community stay looking for or at someone else who isn’t there other person. Which is kinda common if your a male. We are often taught at an early age that we are not good enough and have to show others how to be macho. One of the unspoken things about this is that holding and keeping and obtaining a partner is one other those things. In urban communities some guys get the notion of more is better especially when it comes to sexual partners. Its also shown throughout history in Asian and Middle eastern cultures a lot of the kings would have multiple partners to show status. Even now its shown as just that. This in conjunction with how the media trys to define what being masculine is. If i dont have A, B or C how can I keep a man… My friend has “A” and  “B” is he coming for my man? That is the thought process of people and that is the Myth Of distrust.

style

29 Mar

Style is a choice

style is an expression

style is choice

style is brilliance

style is art

style is is fashion

what fashion truly is is something good to look at its making your outerwear For me it is something to always play with and think of new ideas. I dont necessarily wear clothes for status or price i wear it to work it out and look sickening. Some clothes are very gendered while other are neutral. Something i like to do is mix all of those together and make something my own. Its all about how you truly present yourself and the bravado of doing it.

One way I respect a friend.

22 Mar

I feel in all relationships it is good to have some mutual respect and understanding of one another. The thing about my type of respect is to keep things mutual I will tell a friend if I feel like i haven’t been treated well. I hope that they would do the same instead of letting things linger. The sooner things are dealt with the easier it is to heal. I always give my friends a chance to tell me how to respect them if they take the time to tell me I will take the time to listen and do something about it. A lot of the time we forget to  set certain boundaries for the safety of a relationship. Showing appreciation also fits here say thank you and be thankful that there there but not showing such its like not acknowledging there efforts or valuing there time spent pulling something together.

I’m really thankful that i have really great co workers who inspire me to be a better me everyday. I really appreciate the opportunity to blog and share experiences and thoughts with everyone. I really value being here and everyones presence and energy. I want to thank Vannessa Li for bringing forth the idea of the blog for us all to share our experiences with eachother. I really appreciate her efforts with this and how i’m going to honor it is by striding harder and harder to make better blogs for everyone as the weeks progress.

Honoring and appreciating a friends efforts is one way i respect them. Those two things are really the keys to acknowledgment to me.

Music

14 Mar

Well what music means to me is that its something to my life it expresses my feelings. I like to play guitar most my favorite type of music is metal. Its a very aggressive genre of music some peopel who listen to this genre can be homophobic but some in this genre are queer. Rob Halford, frontman for  Judas Priest and Roddy Bottum , keyboardist for Faith no More also Gaahl, former frontman for Gargoroth. Also a women by the name of Otep Shamaya who is in the band Otep. Some of the bands that they were in are very influential so there is always an influence queer people have on a culture.  More about me I play stuff from the metal genre which is fast aggressive. Its fun with varying time signatures and it can be un-predictable.  Search some of the the bands a look up some of the people.

Calling Someone!

4 Mar

I feel that everyone if they have a cellphone should answer there calls or text. You pay a monthly (insert profanity) bill
why would you not answer? Especially if its someone important contacting you. For example someone your interested in sends you a text you don’t reply. Why even bother dating or going out with them if you don’t even have the time to text/call them back. Here is something about me is that i answer all of my text and calls none are ever ignored. They maybe delayed a few hours but they will get answered.

Respect time

be it the time someone spends with you

the time people take to show appreciation

The time it take to to gain and lose

The time it takes to do alot… texting/calling is one of them give that time back.

Its important for a man to know how to cook.

25 Feb

I cant not stress that enough. here are 10 reasons why…

1.Its romantic to cook for your special someone. It can set the night for passion and cuddling.

2. A man should be able to maintain himself. Alot of the time growing up in this heterostructured world your expected to do such to be able to. Your taught early to go get what you want and be adamant about it. How cooking fits in it well you must eat and drink TO LIVE.

3.Its incredibly joyful and can be your quiet time/relax time. The smell of food is so soothing!

4.Cooking with your special someone(s) is also an amazing time. building something together and enjoying it…. Sounds like something else…. Its also good to bond with people in general

5.If your in lost/stranded in a forest you should atleast know how to build a fire and snack on near by dear.

6.”I can cook” Is the ultimate pick up line. Add from scratch in there someone will get you a long way

7 .It shows intelligence if you can create complex dishes.

8.You will just be awesome!

9.Because…

10. A man should be able to do a lot on the stove.

Wow that was funny there some good facts going through along with suggestiveness and sarcasm. I feel it important for a man to know his way around the kitchen for fact no matter at what level. doesn’t make you less if you less if you can’t but it is like have resume writing skills.

An Artist That Inspires Me

18 Feb

One artist that inspires me Is Esperanza Spalding. What inspires me about her is that she is a female artist who plays bass and sings. Her Melodies and time signatures and lyrical themes are very unique to her song “Precious” is very empowering. Because it displays the feelings of a lover who asks for things that you cant really give i got that from the phrase.
“But I’m not gonna sit around
And waste
My precious divine energy
Trying to explain
And being ashamed of things
You think are wrong with me
I’m not gonna sit around
And waste” -Esperanza spalding-Precious

Which just says it all!